// i dont like the way you treat us sometimes. sometimes i dont even know whether you value us as your good friends. sometimes i feel that all these years of friendship is imcomparable to your friends that you have only known for a few years. i dont know how you are feeling so please speak up.

// then you have the place called haven. but sometimes i feel that it is forcing me to become someone that i am not. i am forced to fit in and it is tiring sometimes. there are alot of things that i regretted doing and i know i kind of deserved it. sometimes i wish i could be your age so that i can be your bestest friend in the world. there are alot of things that i cant talk to you about because of the age gap.i sound like a really selfish person and i cant help feeling the way i do. i wish that you, you and you were still here. it was great like that but it isnt the case now.

// i cant believe that my whole future depends on letters. No sign of approval yet and waiting seems like an eternal process.

if you didnt understand what i was writing, it is okay. :)

even if life takes me to somewhere unpredictable, i will hold on.
even if life pulls me down to the deepest level, i will hold on.
even if life forces me to do something against my will, i will hold on.
it is because i have YOU and that's all that matters.
even though i cant see YOU,
i know YOU are watching me from above.
YOU never fail and i will never let go.

// to my secret agenda- i am putting it in Your hands. :)